Yes, caregivers need breaks. And yes, it’s ok to ask for it.

My name is Jeanette and I am the founder of Will’s House, a non-profit organization in Oklahoma that provides respite care for children and young adults with disabilities. My husband Brad and I are medical needs foster and adoptive parents and we currently have four boys. Two have significant medical needs. 

As foster parents and parents of kids with medical needs, Brad and I found an amazing community of friends to lean on in some of our most challenging moments. We are blessed to have a supportive family that can help us when we are exhausted, as well as friends that have been in the trenches with us through some very challenging times. But there are so many families like ours that don’t have this support. Many do not have anyone to call when they need a break. So I started Will’s House with the goal of bringing hope to families by giving them a phone number of a safe, loving caregiver that they can call when they need help, need to talk, or need a break.

The needs are immense, as you can imagine, and I stay very busy. However, in the past couple of years of serving families, I have noticed some patterns in full time caregivers. Many of them hesitate to ask for help. Some ask for help and then back out stating, “It’s fine, I will just take care of it.” Some ask for help but need it given in small steps, building trust slowly over time. In many circumstances, families are ashamed to tell me about their child’s behavior, and assume if they do, I will not watch them. As a caregiver myself, I get it. We have functioned independently in so many ways because we have HAD to, and it is hard to imagine all of a sudden having help. Many parents don’t trust others easily because our children are vulnerable and often truly medically fragile. We are scared to be judged by a messy house, or scared to vent because we might cry, or scared to leave our child because we just never have. 

My vision for Will’s House is to meet people where they are, to build lifelong relationships, and to meet needs. We should each be in the ministry of showing up for those around us. May we all seek out those who may be prone to isolation and listen for ways we can help. For those of us who are full time caregivers, it’s time to be brave and ask for help and accept it.

Yes, you need a break. And yes,

it’s ok to ask for it.

If one member suffers, all suffer together; if one member is honored all rejoice together. –1 Corinthians 12:26